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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby MonsterMonster21 » Wed Feb 13, 2013 11:41 pm

Lily wrote:....not the best FanFiction I've ever read, quite possible the worst. You're right when you said you're not the greatest writer ever...cos you most definitely aren't.



I'll say this once and only once
If you don't like it, don't read it
and i'm pretty sure isa has said the same thing on another comment you made
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It was hate at first sight for us darling,The lady and the tramp rabid and snarling,
Awkward lovers and charmers worth mauling,It's a match made in hell, cupid's squalling
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Nadine » Thu Feb 14, 2013 12:23 am

I agree with you MonsterMonster.
Lily, you're acting like a complete child. I wouldn't be surprised if you're actually a ten year old, and your mum didn't buy you a lollipop from Tesco and you felt like having a rant. If you haven't for anything nice to say DON'T SAY IT.

On a more positive note...great chapter :mrgreen:
Like Rosalie, I loved the conversation OX, Amen and Mr. Lordi had :wink:

“Is she awake?”
“She’s got her eyes closed you fool, she can’t be asleep,”
“Is she alive?”
“She’s breathing you fool!”
“Shut up Amen,”
“Don’t tell me to shut up OX!”
“I’ll say it again. Shut the freaking hell up!”
“Mr. Lordi!”
“OX is right, shut the freaking hell up!"

That really made my day :D :lol:
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Missing Miss Cali » Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:04 am

Thank you MonsterMonster and Nadine :)
(Oh the lollipop from Tesco idea made me laugh btw Nad :lol: )
Here's the next chapter and it's a little bit short.
And to answer your question, Rosalie, then yes. I did name Aria after PLL Aria.
But no I'm more of a Spencer or Hanna fan to be honest :roll:

Chapter 2:

"Where is Kita?" OX growled.
"Who's Kita?" Aria asked curiously.
"Kita is the most untrustworthy, unreliable-"
"He's a good guy," Amen interrupted OX.
"D'you hate everyone?" Aria asked OX.
"What makes you say that?"
"You haven't been very, shall we say, enthusiastic about Amen and Kita," Aria explained.
"What's to be enthusiastic about?" OX replied.
"I'm an interesting person when you get to know me," Amen didn't seem at all insulted.
"I would rather get to know Kita," OX rolled his eyes.
"Sorry OX, I'm not available. I'm waiting for Miss Right to come along," Someone said and an alien manbeast with razor sharp fangs appeared in the room.
"Kita! You've been ages, any new allies?" Mr. Lordi got up and greeted Kita.
"Just one. His name's Mana and he's...dunno he's a bit weird to be honest," Kita shrugged. "Who's that?" Kita pointed at Aria.
"This is Aria. She was one of the last people ever to Enary before...well you know. She also claims to be friends with Awa," OX introduced Aria.
"I am friends with Awa," Aria corrects.
"Aria what?" Kita asked.
"Aria what what?"
"What's your last name?" Kita rolled his eyes.
"Hastings. I'm Aria Hastings," Aria replied.
"Well Aria Hastings, do you know what you're getting yourself in to?" Kita asked, his voice flirty.
"I like danger," Aria replied.
"Good," Kita's smiled at her. "That's very, very good,"
And I wish you well in hell
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Monsterlady38 » Sat Feb 16, 2013 1:05 am

Cool chapter :) When I saw Ruiz earlier it took me a while to realize that he/she (I can't remember if Ruiz is male or female) actually comes from Hella's character background I think. :P
"Honey honey lemme hug you like a spider, honey honey lemme give you evil love
Honey honey lemme kiss you like a viper, open up your heart, receive my evil love"


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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Missing Miss Cali » Mon Feb 18, 2013 9:45 pm

Yea Ruiz is from Hella :P
Update!

Aria found herself lying on her bedroom floor. She sat up, wondering if these monsters had been a dream. A part of her desperately hoped they were, and another part wished that it hadn't been real. She wasn't sure how she had gotten from flirting with Kita to lying on the floor. She glanced out of her window and wasn't surprised at how the sky was bleak.
"Cheers British weather," Aria murmured and wandered into the kitchen. Her brother, Mike, was sitting there frowning at the radio. "Bad news?" Aria asked as she opened the fridge.
"Yes. They've found a body on the side of the road," Mike frowned.
"That's bad. Human body?" Aria remarked and slammed the fridge door shut. She had found a muffin in there and wondered if it tasted nice.
"No a body of water," Mike replied sarcastically. "Obviously it was a human body. A young woman in her twenties,"
"Murdered?"
"Probably. But they've only found half of her. There's still bits of her scattered around Wales," Mike explained.
"So for all we know, a part of her could be in our basement," Aria tried to make a joke.
"Yes," Mike said seriously.
"That's pretty bad," Aria bit into her muffin. Her eyes lit up when she realised it was a chocolate muffin.
"That's putting it mildly. I'm off," Mike stood up. Aria was glad she could have some time on her own, she needed to think about last night. She sighed and paced around the house. Then Aria dared herself to go into the basement. She wondered if she really would find bits of the dead girl. Aria helped herself to a torch and pushed open the basement door. Then she turned on her torch and padded down into the basement. When she was down there the door above her slammed shut. Aria's eyes widened in horror when she heard the door lock.
"Mike?! Mike let me out it's not funny!" Aria shouted. Her torch began dimming. "No! No don't die on me you traitor!" Aria yelled at her torch. She nearly died when she heard breathing behind her. She slowly turned around and walked forward. She felt herself brush against something hanging down. Aria shines her half-dead torch above her. Dangling from the ceiling was a little girl. A dead little girl. Aria screamed, dropped her torch and ran up the basement steps and banged hard on the door. "Mike let me out now!" The door slowly creaked open. She fled into the hallway and nearly knocked someone flying. Mr. Lordi was standing right in her kitchen.
"Aria? Are you OK?" He frowned.
"No, there's a bloody dead body in my basement!" Aria howled.
"What? What did it look?" Mr. Lordi gasped.
"I didn't see. She looked blondish," Aria tried to remember.
"I wonder if it was Enary," Mr. Lordi muttered.
"No! No it can't be!" Aria cried. She wanted to kick herself for being such a baby.
"I'll have a look," Mr. Lordi said grimly. Aria sat herself down on a chair. Mr. Lordi returned, a weird look on his face. "It wasn't Enary," He confirmed. "It's your sister," He said.
And I wish you well in hell
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby MonsterMonster21 » Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:43 pm

NO....you can't do that......please tell me she's okay :evil:
(i know it's a weird question cas i already know the answer but i'm in shock :oops: )
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It was hate at first sight for us darling,The lady and the tramp rabid and snarling,
Awkward lovers and charmers worth mauling,It's a match made in hell, cupid's squalling
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Missing Miss Cali » Tue Feb 19, 2013 12:23 am

MonsterMonster21 wrote:NO....you can't do that......please tell me she's okay :evil:
(i know it's a weird question cas i already know the answer but i'm in shock :oops: )

Don't worry they're all going to be fine :lol: this story is going to be a little darker than my last one, just so you know.
Update!

"What do you mean? I don't have a sister," Aria stammered.
Mr. Lordi sighed. "You do. In another life,"
"What? What's going on, my only sibling is my brother Mike," Aria said.
"Two hundred years ago, you're name was Allison. You were murdered. You had a sister and she murdered you. Two hundred years later, you and your sister were reborn and you killed her," Mr. Lordi explained.
"I've never killed anyone," Aria bit her lip.
"You have," Mr. Lordi replied.
"But what's she doing in my basement? Who locked me in there? Is it Awa's brother? The one you're looking for?" Aria asked.
"Your questions will be answered. I don't know who locked you in there though," Mr. Lordi replied.
"Ok so how did I wake up in my room when I was last with you and the other monsters,"
"That would be telling," Mr. Lordi smiled. Aria glared at him.
"So why're you here now?"
"Because if we're going to find Alexander, we need to find our allies. They're scattered around the Earth. We need to find them soon before Alexander begins domination," Mr. Lordi began pacing the kitchen.
"What do you mean 'we'?" Aria asked suspiciously.
"Me, you, OX, Amen, Kita, Mana and Enary,"
"Enary's alive!" Aria exclaimed.
"Sort of," Mr. Lordi forced a smile.
"What do you mean?" Aria paled. Then Enary came into the room. Her skin was deathly white, her hair was a pale blonde and her light blue eyes seemed even lighter.
"Hello Aria," Enary smiled sadly.
"Are you dead?" Aria asked Enary, tears welling up.
"Not exactly. I can be brought back, I don't know how though," Enary sighed.
"Where's Awa?" Aria inquired.
"I don't know. I think she's locked up somewhere, in her brothers' castle," Enary answered. Before Aria could reply, Amen, Kita, OX and someone who Aria presumed was Mana sauntered into the kitchen. Amen opened the fridge door and OX had a look through the food cupboard.
"Make yourself at home why don't you?" Aria snapped.
"Easy tiger," Mana laughed. Aria glared at him. OX found himself a tin of sardines and sat down next to Aria. He slammed his fist against the lid and the fish spilled out everywhere.
"The magic of having strong hooves," OX grinned.
"At least I have opposable thumbs," Aria smiled slyly. OX scowled at her and threw a sardine at Aria. It landed in her black hair and Aria squealed in anger.
"Here we go," Amen rolled his eyes. Aria and OX engaged in a war of throwing sardines at one another. The other monsters watched amuses, expect for Amen who was too engrossed in a yoghurt to pay attention.
And I wish you well in hell
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Monsterlady38 » Tue Feb 19, 2013 12:59 am

Amen was engrossed in eating yogurt? :lol: Funny way to end the chapter. Update soon please. :)
"Honey honey lemme hug you like a spider, honey honey lemme give you evil love
Honey honey lemme kiss you like a viper, open up your heart, receive my evil love"


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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby MonsterMonster21 » Tue Feb 19, 2013 11:52 am

war of the fishes :mrgreen:
BUT NO AWA!!! :cry:
Update soon
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It was hate at first sight for us darling,The lady and the tramp rabid and snarling,
Awkward lovers and charmers worth mauling,It's a match made in hell, cupid's squalling
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Nadine » Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:21 am

Sardine war :lol: :lol:
Update soon pleeeeease? :roll:
Is Awa going to be ok though?
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Missing Miss Cali » Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:15 pm

Glad you enjoyed the war of the fishes :lol: update!


"So explain to me how eating all of my food is going to help us find Awa?" Aria frowned at the monsters who were stuffing their faces with food.
"Gives us energy," Amen explained. Aria rolled her eyes. After a few minutes every last scrap of food was gone.
"So now you're energised, what're we doing next?" Aria crossed her arms.
"Next we're going to the castle of Ruiz," Mr. Lordi replied.
"Aw not there! It's boring," Kita groaned.
"Get over it," Mr. Lordi said. Kita muttered something unintelligible but said no more.
"How do we plan to get there?" Aria raised an eyebrow.
"First we need to get to Lapland. Then we go north. The ruins of Ruiz's castle should be there," Mr. Lordi told Aria.
"And how do we get to Lapland?"
"You ask too much questions," Mr. Lordi said. Then Mr. Lordi began chanting in some sort of language and a dark vortex swirled up. "In you go," Mr. Lordi nodded at the vortex. Aria took a deep breath but then she felt someone push her into the vortex. Aria screamed as she was tossed and turned in the darkness. Then it was over and Aria was standing in a strange world where she couldn't see anything but snow, trees and darkness.
"Welcome to Lapland. You will receive a free gift of frostbite and hypothermia. Please enjoy your visit," Kita moaned.
"Kita get the sleigh," Mr. Lordi commanded. Still whining, Kita disappeared into the trees and returned dragging a massive sleigh. "You get to sit up front with me," Mr. Lordi smiled at Kita. Kita scowled at Mr. Lordi but didn't say anything. The other monsters began piling into the sleigh and Aria followed them. She sat herself down next to Amen, he was the only one she trusted. Enary had vanished after Aria had entered the vortex. Mr. Lordi started the sleigh up and soon enough they arrived by a ruined castle.
"Ruiz's castle?" Aria guessed.
"Yep. I wonder if the sphinx is still there," Mr. Lordi nodded. They walked towards the castle and there was a woman with flame-red hair and she was dressed from head to toe in red and orange colours and they all had fire patterns.
"Isn't it technically phoenix's who are associated with fire?" Aria murmured under her breath.
"What do you want?" The woman asked in a bored manner.
"We're here to see Ruiz," Mr. Lordi answered.
The woman spluttered with laughter. "Nobody sees him! And don't think you'll get him to confess on where Awa and the rest of your allies are, because you won't. I think the reign of the mighty Lordi monsters is coming to an end. And I think the rest of Lapland will be glad about that!"
"Can we go home now?" Kita whined.
"No. Let us in sphinx. You know what we're capable of," Mr. Lordi said firmly.
"Can we stop by at Starbucks when we leave?" Kita asked.
"If it shuts you up," Mr. Lordi replied.
"Can I have a donut?" Kita continued.
"Yes, yes whatever," Mr. Lordi said exasperatedly. This cheered Kita up and he stopped whining. Aria was beginning to like the monsters, especially Kita and Amen. Mr. Lordi led Aria and the other monsters through the castle. Ten minutes later they were still nowhere near Ruiz.
"Are we nearly there yet?" Kita asked for the millionth time.
"No!" Everyone shouted for the millionth time.
"What about now?" Kita asked hopefully.
"Yes," Aria said.
"Really?" Kita sounded suspicious.
"No," Aria admitted.
"Are we nearly there yet?" Kita continued.
"Kita please. Can you NOT be yourself for five minutes?" OX pleaded.
"Alright sorry. I'm just so bored wandering around this dusty old castle looking for an old man who's probably dead," Kita muttered.
"Find a way to entertain yourself," Mr. Lordi snapped. Kita sighed. Then he began making an incredibly annoying noise by grinding his sharp fangs together. After two minutes of this OX yelled out:
"ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET!?"
"Yes!" Mr. Lordi shouted back. Sure enough, they were all standing outside of a door marked 'Ruiz'....
And I wish you well in hell
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Monsterlady38 » Sat Mar 02, 2013 7:45 pm

Uh-oh they're going to see Ruiz? This could spell trouble! Update soon! :)
"Honey honey lemme hug you like a spider, honey honey lemme give you evil love
Honey honey lemme kiss you like a viper, open up your heart, receive my evil love"


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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Rosalie » Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:02 pm

:lol: :lol: Poor Kita!
But it's so damn hilarious,
"are we nearly there yet?"
"Yes"
"really?"
"no"

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Update soon pleeeeeease????? :roll: :mrgreen:
Hey YOU
Yeah, you reading this.
If you ever feel sad then remember you are a fabulous and majestic unicorn-cabbage.
And your face is nice.
And you should smile more because you look amazing when you smile.
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby MonsterMonster21 » Sun Mar 03, 2013 5:43 pm

I'm still laughing at kita's welcome to finland :mrgreen:
Update soon :roll:
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It was hate at first sight for us darling,The lady and the tramp rabid and snarling,
Awkward lovers and charmers worth mauling,It's a match made in hell, cupid's squalling
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Sara » Sun Mar 03, 2013 10:26 pm

"ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET????"
"Yes!"
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Brilliant chapter, awesomely funny and I'm still laughing from Kita :lol:
Update soon please :mrgreen:
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Re: Lordi Fan Fiction

Postby Missing Miss Cali » Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:52 am

Alright my pretties (and handsomies if anyone of the male species are reading this), I am back with the sequel.

BUT

it's from my point of view and this time my made up daughter is six years old...

Big surprise concerning Ruiz...hehehehe



Intro:

I stare at the ceiling above me, contemplating life. For me it's pretty fu*ked up. Mental mothers, suicidal fathers and brothers and catty I-only-care-about-myself sisters.
Oh and then there's my six year old daughter, Elektra. Her father is a monster. But who are you to judge? I bet you're the type of person who'd tell lies to get attention. Or maybe you look at goths and emos on the street and judge them for it. Yep, I've got you figured out.

So what am I doing, lying on a rickety bed in the worst hotel this world has seen? Good question. I'm on the run. Who from? Well...do you really need to know? I should leave Elektra with my friends, so she's out of danger shouldn't I? There you go judging again. Thinking 'what a terrible mother, dragging her daughter into danger. Probably on the run from a prostitute agency'. Well you're wrong. Oh, I can't even begin to explain how wrong you are. Just look at you, shaking your head wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Join the club, I shake my head and wonder what the hell is wrong with me too.

Chapter 1:

"I'm cold," Elektra whines.
"Join the club," I mutter.
"Why are you being so horrible?" Elektra's face crumples. Why is this child not eighteen and in college? "And why are we running away?"
"You wouldn't understand," I murmur.
"I hate it when adults say that. Aunt Kayleigh always says that to me,"
"Your aunt Kayleigh is a self-centred, vain, venomous super-bitch" I roll my eyes.
"What does that mean?" Elektra asks.
"She's not very nice," I snap.
"Why do you keep being so nasty?" Elektra starts crying. Oh god, this is why I hate kids. "You're not coming to my birthday," Elektra declares. I haven't got the heart to tell her it's not for another ten months. "I'm going to the bathroom and I'm never coming out!" Elektra shouts at me. I shut my eyes and don't reply. I am a terrible mother. There's peace and quiet for several minutes and then Elektra starts bawling.
"Shut that kid up!" Someone next door yells.
"You shut up matie!" I yell back. He shouts back, calling me something I'm not going to mention in polite company. I call him something worse. There's silence and I can hear him snoring. I smile and then remember Elektra crying. I get up and investigate. The bathroom light is switched off, so I switch it on. I get a mini heart attack when I see who's standing there.
"Hello Calista," She smiles at me. It's Lady Awa de Paysant, the undead vampire countess who happens to be one of my closest friends.
"Awa!" I exclaim and I hug her.
"I think I scared little Elektra," Awa said a little worriedly.
"Who is that lady?" Elektra hugs my leg.
"My friend,"
"She's scary," Elektra says solemnly. "How old are you?"
"I'm about two hundred years old," Awa replies.
"Oh," says Elektra sweetly. "Does that mean you'll die soon?"

Awa tells me that I'm needed in the monster world. She takes me and Elektra out of the hotel and she leads us to a battered jeep, suspiciously like the one I drove when I last saw her.
"Why am I needed?" I ask warily.
"Because Ruiz is back...sort of," Awa says.
"What do you mean sort of?" I start the engine and begin driving.
"Who's Ruiz?" Elektra asks sleepily from the back.
"He's a bad man," I reply.
"Like Darth Vader?"
"Yes," I sigh "like Darth Vader,"
"What I mean by sort of, is that his erm...descendants are in the monster world," Awa explains. I screech the jeep to a stop.
"Descendants! Are you telling me Ruiz is a FATHER? God, he must be a worse parent than me!"
"Um...yeah Ruiz is a dad. Two sons. One's eighteen and the other is forty. And a daughter who's Elektra's age," Awa says nervously.
"And they're all out for revenge?"
"Not forgetting Hella's kid who's dad is Ruiz," Awa adds.
"Jesus..." I start driving again.
"My thoughts exactly honey. Turn left," Awa pointed.
"Remember when we were being chased by the police?" I smile at the memory.
"Yes. That must've been six or seven years ago," Awa nods. "Turn bitch turn!" Awa screeches.
"What does bitch mean?" Elektra calls from the back.
"It's a bad word Lex. Don't ever say it," I tell her.
"Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!" Elektra claps her hands delightedly. Bed time, I think.
And I wish you well in hell
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